11 - NEUROTICALLY CREATIVE

Of late I became quite creative.
I have coping strategies for everything, water too.
When I boil vegetables I keep the water and drink it. When I don't boil vegetables, some days I just grill them, I boil water and put into it green the or camomilla since I have a lot of coffee during the day. Why do I do it? Because I think boiled water is "lighter" than regular water.
I'm fucked up, I know. But the more you pee, the more toxins you throw out of your system.
So I have boiled water, a spoon of bran in the pear juice in the morning and in a yogurt in the afternoon and lots of vegetables in the evening.
I was planning on losing 4 KGs before summer, it is not easy since  my body never went  below 57. I got sick but it stands  its position.
If is not a think I thought out of vanity. Ok, I may want to weight less but this time this is not the reason why.
In two months, It will be summer and if I am to spend days with my friends and seem "normal" (pass me this dreadfull world) the only way I can go past it would be with a little less weight.
I'm wandering if, once I'd weight less (which I know by experience, it will never happen) I'd worsten my behavior so to mantain the new weight. But it's never gonna happen.
I though I could go see a dietologist, he should know how to make me lose this 4 KGs in 2 mounts time but I don't know if he'll figure it out my problem and I'm not really ready to talk about my crap to anyone. My iPad screen doesn't count.
So, how the heck do I lose 4 KGs in 2 months without starving me? not that I mind starvation but it doesn't work with my body and when I go back to eat it grows weight faster than a speeding bullet (sorry for the comic book reference).
I'll check the web.